In Pursuit of Panache
I’m sure many things have been said about me, both good and bad, but there’s one thing I can be certain nobody will ever utter in reference to me, and that is: “I like her style.” Why? Because, I have no style. Never have, never will. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those [...]
The Car Pool Blues
I get up early in the mornin’, round about six-o-clock. Bleary-eyed and yawnin’, I gather up the flock. Pack three chillins in the van, and drive around the block. At the neighbor’s crib, two more are added to my stock. Coffee cup in hand, I head for open road. My minivan creaks under such [...]
The Skittles-Space Continuum
“Where are the tickets?” I said with a half-panicked gasp. The line was moving steadily ahead, and we were almost at the admissions booth. My husband searched his wallet, while I frantically fondled my video camera case; my pockets full of gum, tissues, and Dramamine for motion sickness; and my backpack stuffed with water bottles, [...]
The Annual Holiday Letter
Dear Friends and Family . . . [oh boy, I can’t even get past the salutation without a dilemma. “Friends and Family” or “Family and Friends?” Better lead with “Family” unless I want to tick off our Italian relatives.] Dear Family and Friends, Merry . . . [almost forgot, the Weinsteins are on our mailing [...]
A Christmas Carol, Redux
Thanksgiving was over, to begin with. For some reason, my sports watch alarm went off at midnight, waking me from a strange dream, in which I was unable to run from a monster, molded from leftover stuffing and mashed potatoes with gravy dripping from its outstretched arms, due to the weight of my own enormous [...]
Brotherly Love and Other Forms of Abuse
First, we hear giggling. Then a sharp squeal. The creak of the mattress springs, a bump on the wall, a muffled “Ouch,” then more giggling. “Girls! Knock it off!” my husband yells from his recliner. There is a moment of silence, and then the ruckus starts all over again. I am not sure why we [...]
Irreverent in Blue Jeans, Babe
On Sunday mornings, I can usually be found in a bathrobe with wild hair and a cup of hot coffee, staring into my closet. I dig through the denim and cottons I wear all week, and grab a dress or skirt, and a pair of low heels, hoping I won’t be limping in the next [...]
Sharing Happiness
My phone rang this week, and for once, it wasn’t my kids or my husband or my mother or my carpool partner or my in laws or one of those pre-recorded doctor’s appointment confirmation messages. “Hey Lisa, what have you been up to?” she asked. I was dumbfounded. I had not received a purely social [...]
The Sandwich Queen
About a million years ago, I had a career. I had a briefcase, an office, a secretary, and a view from the 24th floor. I did research, argued motions, interviewed clients and attended the firm holiday party. My name was on the wall in the lobby. But then, when I least expected it, something happened. [...]
The Wheels on the Bus
And other things that don’t always go round and round anymore. As a squishy little second grader at East Pike Elementary School, the bus stop on Sixth and Chestnut Streets seemed like a huge unruly mob to me. Somehow, by the time the bus showed up, the kids at our stop had already climbed trees, [...]
